So Limp Bizkit went and did the unthinkable (again): they dropped their first new song in four years, titled “Making Love to Morgan Wallen.” Yes, you read that right. Fred Durst name-dropped Chester Bennington, David Bowie, and Pootie Tang — before somehow deciding to close things out by making Morgan Wallen the star of his lyrical fever dream.
Naturally, this left fans confused, entertained, and possibly questioning whether someone spiked their Monster Energy drink. But the best part? Morgan Wallen himself (well, in our imagination) decided to pen an “open letter” back to Fred.
Here’s how it went down:
Dear Fred,
First off, I gotta say… thank you? I think?
When my manager called and said “Hey, man, Limp Bizkit just dropped a song called ‘Making Love to Morgan Wallen,’” I figured I was still drunk and hallucinating a Mad Lib. But no. It’s real. You, Fred Durst, pioneer of red caps and random karate kicks, have officially dragged my name into the nu-metal dimension.
And wow, what a trip.
I mean, I’m flattered, truly. Who wouldn’t want to be immortalized in a song where you rhyme “lobster hand” with “bowling pin,” then immediately high-five a traffic light? Shakespeare could never. David Bowie’s ghost probably put in for a transfer to another galaxy after hearing his cameo, but hey, art is pain.
Now, about the title… “Making Love to Morgan Wallen.” Fred, buddy, pal — nobody asked for this. Not my fans, not your fans, not even the dolphins you claim to freestyle on. Do you know how awkward it is to open TikTok and see people making actual Bizkit/Wallen fanfic edits? I got folks Photoshopping me on a Rascal scooter with you in a cape, and honestly, I don’t have the stamina for that.
Still, I admire the confidence. Most people would stop at “Dad Vibes” and call it a career. But not you. No, you said, “What the world needs right now is a funk-rap tribute to Chester, Bowie, Pootie Tang, and also Morgan freakin’ Wallen in an elevator.” Bold move. Legendary move. A move only Fred Durst could pull off while wearing sunglasses indoors.
So here’s my counteroffer: you and I take this chaos to the next level. Forget “Making Love.” Let’s do a full album:
“Shotgunnin’ Natty Light with Willie Nelson”
“Bench Pressin’ Post Malone”
“Line-Dancin’ With the Ghost of Prince”
and of course, the closer: “Morgan Bizkit: The Duet Nobody Wanted.”
Fred, I don’t know if the world’s ready, but I know one thing: it still sucks. And maybe that’s okay.
Sincerely,
Morgan “Please Stop Tagging Me in This” Wallen
#fake news, #Limp Bizkit sucks again, #Making Love to Morgan Wallen
