August 17, 2025 — Inspired by MEGADETH’s announcement of their final album and farewell tour, a group of exhausted ANTHRAX fans have reportedly launched an online petition begging the band to follow suit.
The petition, titled “Anthrax Retirement: For the Greater Good of the Scene”, has already gathered over 30,000 signatures in its first 24 hours — mostly from people who claim they’ve been “emotionally and financially drained” by the band’s insistence on staying active despite being “New Yorkers in their late 60s trying to keep moshing alive.”
The petition states:
“We love ANTHRAX. We respect ANTHRAX. But maybe, just maybe, it’s time to let go before Scott Ian starts headbanging so hard he accidentally launches his goatee into orbit.”
Among the fans’ complaints:
Repetitive Setlists: “If we hear Indians one more time, we’re going to start handing out feathered headdresses in protest.”
Merch Fatigue: “How many more comic books, hot sauces, and novelty socks with Charlie Benante’s face on them do we really need?”
Retirement Envy: “If Mustaine gets to go UFO hunting, why should Joey Belladonna still have to scream about Caught in a Mosh?”
Scott Ian, however, has already clapped back in an Instagram video:
“Retire? What the hell else am I gonna do? Work in an office? Forget it. I’d rather play I Am the Law at a children’s birthday party than quit.”
Meanwhile, Charlie Benante hinted he’s open to the idea — but only if the band gets to release “one more final-final album” called Still Not Retired. Joey Belladonna was reportedly unavailable for comment because he was practicing for his side gig as a wedding singer.
Despite the petition, ANTHRAX has confirmed they will not retire. In fact, sources suggest the band is now planning a “We’ll Outlive Megadeth” Tour for 2027. Each ticket will include a free download of Scott Ian’s audiobook, 101 Reasons Why Retirement Is for Quitters.
So, while MEGADETH fans get closure and Mustaine gets his sovereign nation of Mustainia, ANTHRAX fans will have to keep bringing earplugs, Advil, and the faint hope that someone eventually convinces the band to hang it up before they start marketing ANTHRAX-branded retirement homes.
