Heavy metal history is about to be rewritten—possibly by forces beyond our comprehension. The original lineup of BLACK SABBATH—Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler, and Bill Ward—will play their final show on July 5 in Birmingham, but now, thanks to a team of world-class mediums, they won’t be the only legends on stage.
Dubbed “Back To The Beginning (And Beyond The Grave),” the show at Villa Park will not only feature METALLICA, SLAYER, PANTERA, and an all-star tribute lineup, but will also include a once-in-a-lifetime supernatural ritual to bring back Ronnie James Dio and Lemmy Kilmister for one final performance.
“We figured if anyone could return from the dead for a proper send-off, it’s these two,” said event spiritual director Madam Voodoo, who has been flown in from New Orleans along with an elite team of occult specialists, seance experts, and a guy who claims to have communicated with Bon Scott through his toaster.
Tom Morello, who is not only playing at the event but also serving as its musical director, confirmed the spectral additions. “This is it—the greatest heavy metal show EVER. You thought a Black Sabbath reunion was big? Try adding a resurrected Dio wailing over Heaven and Hell while Lemmy downs a bottle of Jack Daniels that materialized out of thin air. This isn’t just history; it’s metal necromancy at its finest.”
While Morello organizes the earthly performers, a dedicated team of dark arts practitioners has already begun preparing the Villa Park stage for the ritual, using ancient incantations, rare relics, and, reportedly, one of Lemmy’s old cowboy boots found backstage at the Rainbow Bar & Grill.
Among the confirmed lineup of living musicians are METALLICA, ANTHRAX, ALICE IN CHAINS, GOJIRA, HALESTORM, LAMB OF GOD, MASTODON, PANTERA, and SLAYER. Meanwhile, the resurrected Dio is expected to take the stage for Neon Knights, while Lemmy will join the remaining Motörhead members to belt out Ace of Spades before immediately demanding a cigarette and a whiskey.
Ozzy Osbourne, visibly excited about the necromantic twist, commented, “Blimey, I always said I’d see these bastards in Hell—guess we’re doing it a bit sooner!”
Tickets go on sale February 14, and organizers have warned concertgoers not to bring Ouija boards, just in case they accidentally invite Elvis.
#all for Ozzy, #black sabbath, #bring Lemmy back, #death is just a beginning, #fake news, #sabbath thy demons
