By Thrash Turner, Alternate Realities Correspondent
In a bold experiment blending science fiction and fanboy wish fulfillment, Amazon Prime has announced its latest prestige series: “Justice For All: The America That Could’ve Been.” The show takes place in an alternate timeline where Metallica disbanded immediately after releasing the Black Album — sparing humanity from Load, Reload, St. Anger, and that one Lou Reed fever dream.
The synopsis reads:
“After a mysterious studio fire during the summer of 1991, the members of Metallica go their separate ways, each finding inner peace, better haircuts, and no further desire to release albums featuring trashcan snare drums or country-inspired ballads.”
The show follows a future where America experiences a cultural golden age, free from the creative consequences of post-Black Album Metallica. The economy thrives. Wars cease. Napster grows into a peaceful global music-sharing cooperative. Lars Ulrich becomes a minimalist ceramicist in Denmark. James Hetfield finds fulfillment building log cabins and growling affirmations in the woods. Kirk Hammett becomes the host of Haunted Hawaii. Jason Newsted actually gets to write a bass line.
Critics are already calling it “The Man in the High Castle, but with better riffs and no leather pants.” One particularly emotional episode explores a world where Dave Mustaine is finally at peace, having never again been reminded that Metallica still exists and gets more press than Megadeth.
“We wanted to show what could happen when humanity avoids its greatest creative misstep,” said showrunner Tina Slayer-Worthington, who admits she stopped listening after …And Justice for All, like a responsible adult. “In our version of 2024, Load never happened. Lars never sued Napster. No one had to sit through ‘Some Kind of Monster.’ People are just… happier.”
The series even includes an episode titled “No Lou, No Lulu,” in which Lou Reed instead collaborates with Enya, and they win a Nobel Peace Prize.
📺 TENTATIVE EPISODE GUIDE: Season 1
Episode 1 – Black End
A tragic studio fire forces Metallica to disband after the Black Album. James Hetfield buys a flannel shirt and disappears into the woods. Cliff Burton’s ghost is seen fist-pumping.
Episode 2 – The Napster King
With no Lars to sue, Napster evolves into a peaceful file-sharing utopia. Sean Parker becomes the Dalai Lama of digital freedom. Lars becomes a jazz triangle player in Oslo.
Episode 3 – Dave Mustaine Smiles Once
With Metallica out of the way, Dave Mustaine finally tops a Billboard chart. Doctors record the first ever genuine smile from him. He celebrates by insulting Metallica anyway.
Episode 4 – Load Unloaded
An interdimensional rip opens showing the forbidden future where Load exists. Scientists scream. Kirk’s eyeliner is burned out of existence.
Episode 5 – The Lou Reed Anomaly
In this universe, Lou Reed collaborates with Enya instead. It’s beautiful. It doesn’t rhyme. It wins 11 Grammys. “Lulu” never even becomes a meme.
Episode 6 – Trujillo’s Peaceful Fish Tank
Since Metallica never recruits him, Rob Trujillo spends his days feeding koi and making chill bass tutorial videos. No one ever calls him “the new guy.”
Episode 7 – Some Kind of Masterpiece
Instead of Some Kind of Monster, the documentary captures Jason Newsted’s spa day and Lars hosting a Danish baking show. Viewers are grateful.
Episode 8 – The Return of Cliff (Kind of)
In a twist finale, scientists invent a way to resurrect musical icons — and in this universe, Cliff Burton gets a holographic farewell concert.
The series ends with a title card:
Dedicated to everyone who stopped at …And Justice for All. You were right.
