Rob Zombie, America’s favorite goth hillbilly of doom, has announced that new music is dropping tomorrow, because apparently Halloween isn’t spooky enough yet. The upcoming track, titled “Punks & Demons,” will be released Friday, October 10th, and experts predict it will sound like being run over by a haunted go-kart at a demonic county fair (in the best way possible).
But that’s not all—Rob Zombie has also decided to terrorize the art world by launching his first-ever painting exhibition, “What Lurks On Channel X?”, at The Morrison Gallery in Kent, CT. Yes, Rob Zombie is now officially a “multi-disciplinary artist,” which is celebrity language for “I’ve run out of movie sequels for now.”
📍 Opening reception:
Saturday, October 25th, 5–7 PM — and it’s open to the public, because apparently we’re just letting civilians walk straight into psychic collapse these days.
🖼 Exhibition runs:
October 25th – November 16th at Morrison Gallery, 60 North Main St., Kent, CT.
PRE-SHOW CHAOS: CRITICS LOSE SANITY – GALLERY CALLS IT “A SUCCESS”
Before the grand opening, Morrison Gallery decided to host a private preview for industry insiders and critics—you know, the people who clutch their pearls at the sight of bold color choices.
According to multiple unverified but obviously true eyewitnesses, within 17 minutes of exposure to Zombie’s massive acrylic nightmares, two high-profile art critics collapsed screaming about “Betty and Veronica drinking blood out of Jerry Lewis’ skull” and were rushed to a facility that “specializes in long-term creative trauma.”
Gallery reps confirmed:
“They’ll probably need to be institutionalized for life, but honestly, that’s a compliment in the art world.”
Others survived only because someone had a purse full of Xanax and distributed it like war rations. Reports say one survivor whispered, eyes vacant, “There were Bela Lugosis everywhere…” before wandering into traffic (gently, he’s fine).
William Morrison, still calling this a win, stated:
“We are extremely honored to introduce Rob’s paintings… The level of panic in the room was a moving experience.”
WHAT TO EXPECT INSIDE THE GALLERY (BRING MEDICATION)
Rob’s paintings feature Bela Lugosi lovingly painted next to Charles Manson, flirting visually with Archie Comics characters, while Laurel & Hardy hover in the background like demonic Walmart mascots. It’s everything you’d expect from a man who admits he watched eight hours of TV a day from birth until he was legally allowed to buy his first fog machine.
Zombie himself reflected:
“Everything in my head I learned straight from the boob tube.”
Translation: this art show is basically what happens when you fall asleep watching Scooby-Doo but wake up during a true crime documentary.
CONCLUSION: BRING YOUR OWN ANTI-PSYCHOTICS
So, mark your calendars: October 10th – new single “Punks & Demons.”
October 25th – go stare into the abyss at his gallery show.
Warning: The gallery recommends not attending alone, not bringing impressionable children, and resigning yourself to never seeing Jughead the same way again.
