In what analysts are calling “the most expensive typo in streaming history,” California rock veterans TESLA have shattered the 300 million stream mark on Spotify — not because of a sudden resurgence in ’80s rock, but because Elon Musk accidentally thought people were listening to his cars.
According to an unnamed intern at Spotify (who only agreed to speak if we Venmo’d them $5 and a burrito), Musk wired a cool $30 billion to a special promo account with the instructions: “Reward every TESLA stream with $100. The people must love my engineering.” The confusion apparently began when Musk asked his AI assistant “How’s Tesla doing on Spotify?” and it replied, “They just passed 300 million streams.” Musk, reportedly overwhelmed with pride, declared it was time to “give back to the loyal drivers… err… listeners.”
As a result, every suburban dad who accidentally clicked on “Modern Day Cowboy” while searching for a podcast on self-driving cars has now received a direct deposit and is considering quitting his job.
Meanwhile, TESLA bassist Brian Wheat, who has been outspoken about the abysmal payouts musicians receive from streaming, was seen furiously refreshing his banking app, yelling, “FINALLY! ELON GETS IT!” Sources close to the band say the sudden cash windfall will be used to fund a new EP titled “We’re Not the Car Company, But Keep the Money Coming.”
Spotify has yet to comment, but insiders suggest the platform is now preparing for a wave of new music from other misunderstood bands, including JET, CHARGER, and DRIVE. Elon Musk, for his part, has reportedly moved on and is now developing a Tesla model that plays “Love Song” on loop, whether you want it to or not.
