1. Unblack Metal
Christian black metal.
Proof that no matter how contradictory an idea sounds, somebody in metal has already turned it into a subgenre.
2. Pirate Metal
Metal about pirates.
Not a pirate-themed band.
An entire genre.
Somewhere, a history teacher is deeply confused.
3. Caveman Battle Doom
Popularized by CONAN.
Massive riffs, prehistoric atmosphere, and music that sounds like two mammoths fighting over a volcano.
4. Blackgaze
Black metal meets shoegaze.
One half wants to burn churches.
The other half wants to stare dreamily into the sunset.
Somehow it works.
5. Alien Death Metal
Death metal obsessed with extraterrestrials, cosmic horror, ancient civilizations, and the possibility that Earth is just somebody else’s science experiment.
Bands like BLOOD INCANTATION have practically become ambassadors for the style.
6. Melodic Blackened Death Doom
At some point metal stopped creating genres and started creating entire sentences.
This one sounds less like a genre and more like a password requirement.
7. Frog Metal
The internet insists this exists.
Characterized by frogs, swamp aesthetics, amphibian memes, and an alarming amount of enthusiasm for creatures that spend most of their lives sitting in ponds.
The fact that people still debate whether Frog Metal is real only makes it more Frog Metal.
8. Dreamo
A blend of dreamy shoegaze textures and emo influences.
It sounds like something a sleep-deprived journalist accidentally typed at 3 a.m.
Yet somehow it’s been around for years.
9. Gore’n’Roll
Imagine goregrind discovering MOTÖRHEAD.
That’s basically Gore’n’Roll.
Equal parts chainsaw massacre and rock ‘n’ roll swagger.
10. Red and Anarchist Black Metal (RABM)
One of the few genres whose abbreviation sounds more believable than its full name.
A black metal movement associated with anarchist and anti-authoritarian themes.
The first time most people see “RABM,” they assume somebody leaned on the keyboard.
Final Thought
The beautiful thing about metal is that if someone told you tomorrow that a new scene called Interdimensional Goblin Funeral Doom had appeared somewhere in Eastern Europe, most of us would simply nod and ask when the album comes out.