After announcing that their long-promised avatar spectacle will officially launch in 2027, the digital members of KISS are reportedly already locked in a bitter internal war over money, royalties, and who gets the bigger share of virtual fireworks.
For those unfamiliar with the situation: the real KISS revealed in late 2023 that, after retiring from traditional touring, the band would continue as high-tech avatars. Using technology developed for ABBA Voyage, the project is being created by Industrial Light & Magic and produced by Swedish entertainment company Pophouse. Reports claimed around $200 million would be invested into the futuristic show, which promises giant superhero-like versions of the band breathing fire, floating above audiences, and shooting electricity from their fingers. The first official avatar performance is now scheduled for 2027.
Unfortunately, the digital future has arrived with very familiar problems.
According to insiders, Avatar Gene Simmons immediately demanded additional compensation for “premium tongue rendering,” merchandising rights to every pixel of his face, and a percentage of all downloadable blood effects.
Avatar Paul Stanley reportedly became furious after learning Gene’s hologram had been allocated 12% more boot shine and two extra strands of animated hair. Witnesses claim he yelled, “I built this franchise!” before dramatically buffering out of the meeting.
Meanwhile, Avatar Ace Frehley allegedly refuses to rehearse until he is paid in a custom cryptocurrency called KISS Coin, while Avatar Peter Criss is demanding vintage drum sounds, emotional support plugins, and final approval over all cat-related animations.
Technicians working on the production say they expected challenges in making the band eight feet tall and capable of breathing fire. “What we didn’t expect,” one source admitted, “was recreating decades of financial tension with such stunning realism.”
Attempts at mediation reportedly failed after all four avatars demanded separate dressing rooms, despite existing on the same server. One emergency meeting ended when Gene’s avatar automatically sent invoices to everyone present for “unauthorized eye contact.”
Despite the turmoil, organizers insist the 2027 launch remains on track. Early concepts allegedly include a rock opera titled License To Bill, a premium package where fans pay extra to unlock each member individually, and a VIP meet-and-greet in which Gene AI personally asks attendees if they’ve purchased enough merchandise.
A spokesperson for the project issued a brief statement:
“KISS may now be virtual, but their greed remains fully analog.”