In a development so absurd even the French government sighed and said “pas encore…”, a militant faction of PETA activists has officially declared war on Gojira after the band’s recent Paris performance of “Flying Whales.” Their accusation?“Whale exploitation, psychic whale captivity, and emotional manipulation of cetacean identities.” Yes. Psychic whales.Because […]
gojira sport
New Study Confirms GOJIRA Fans Are Healthier And More Athletic Than Everyone Else Their Age
PARIS, FRANCE — A groundbreaking scientific study has revealed that fans of French metal titans GOJIRA are inexplicably fitter, faster, and stronger than the average person their age, baffling doctors and delighting gym owners everywhere. “Normally when you think of metal fans, you think of empty Monster cans and sore […]