The world of heavy metal shook today as MEGADETH frontman Dave Mustaine confirmed that the band’s next studio album will be their last, followed by a massive farewell tour in 2026. But while fans are busy preparing to cry-sing along to “Holy Wars” one final time, Mustaine is already plotting his next career moves — and spoiler alert: they’re as wonderfully bizarre as his decades-long grudge against Metallica.
In a heartfelt message to fans, Mustaine said:
“I’m stepping away from the studio, but not from life. I’ve got a lot of unfinished business — and not all of it involves Kirk Hammett’s wah pedal.”
According to insiders (and by “insiders” we mean the guy who sells hot dogs outside Megadeth shows), Mustaine’s post-MEGADETH plans include:
1. Full-Time Metallica Critic
Mustaine will allegedly tour the world giving TED Talks titled “How to Ruin a Solo With One Wah Pedal” and hosting listening parties where he pauses Metallica tracks every 20 seconds to say, “See? I would have played that better.”
2. UFO Researcher
A long-time believer in extraterrestrial life, Mustaine plans to devote his retirement to proving that aliens not only exist but were also responsible for writing Rust in Peace. “There’s no way humans could have come up with that,” he explained while polishing his guitar and a suspiciously metallic-looking meteorite.
3. Professional Cheese Rolling Competitor
Inspired by the annual UK event where people chase giant wheels of cheese down a hill, Mustaine is allegedly training to become the first American to win and play a thrash riff while tumbling to the bottom. Early prototypes of his “cheese guitar” have already caused two minor dairy explosions.
4. Megadeth: The Broadway Musical
Mustaine is said to be in talks to adapt the band’s career into a full Broadway production titled Symphony of Destruction: The Tap Dance Experience. Rumor has it James Hetfield will be offered the role of “Lars” but will decline because “the drumming is too simple.”
5. President of Mustainia
In perhaps the most ambitious twist, Mustaine plans to buy an unclaimed island and declare it the independent nation of Mustainia. The country’s national anthem will be Tornado of Souls, the flag will feature Vic Rattlehead holding a piece of gouda, and citizenship will only be granted to people who can play at least one Megadeth riff correctly. Mustainia’s official foreign policy? “Better riffs than you, that’s why.”
While the farewell tour will mark the end of an era, Dave’s plans suggest his retirement will be just as loud, weird, and passive-aggressively aimed at Metallica as the rest of his career. As he put it:
“I may be done with albums… but I’m not done with being Dave Mustaine. And neither is the world.”
While MEGADETH fans are bracing themselves for the emotional rollercoaster of the farewell tour, Mustaine has promised to keep them updated on all his post-metal adventures via a new YouTube channel, “Rust in Retirement.” Episodes will include UFO sighting analysis, cheese-tumbling techniques, and casual rants about how Countdown to Extinction was “way better than anything Metallica did after 1988.”
So, while MEGADETH may be riding into the sunset, one thing is certain: Dave Mustaine’s next chapter will be just as loud, just as weird, and — somehow — still about Metallica.
