Daytona Beach, FL – Florida’s loudest heatstroke-inducing mega-fest, Welcome To Rockville 2025, has dropped its full set times along with bold new plans to ensure fans are physically and emotionally broken before the main event even begins.
To properly prepare attendees for what organizers call “Florida in May, but with guitars,” this year’s Pre-Party will take place inside a mobile Finnish sauna parked next to the speedway, where temperatures will be set to boil-your-boots. Attendees are required to wear leather boots and no fewer than two layers of clothing, because “suffering is metal,” according to someone named Todd in logistics who hasn’t had a day off since 2018.
Smiling will be strictly enforced at the sauna entrance. Security will be checking for frowns, and anyone not grinning will be sent to a separate tent where Five Finger Death Punch’s discography is played at double speed until you submit.
The pre-party lineup features Pop Evil, Nonpoint, Josey Scott (the original voice of Saliva, not a chatbot), and Breed, the iHeartRadio Battle of the Bands winner, who were allegedly chosen after a grueling battle that included actual weapons.
Headliners this year include Green Day, Shinedown, Korn, and the reanimated spirit of Linkin Park—now officially 50% hologram, 50% nostalgia, 100% guaranteed to make you scream the lyrics to “Numb” while dehydrated and sunburned. Supporting acts include Good Charlotte (yes, really) and Marilyn Manson (presumably not wearing SPF).
With over 150 bands spread across 5 stages, organizers recommend downloading the official Rockville app so you can perfectly schedule your mental breakdowns between Halestorm and Knocked Loose.
Onsite camping has already sold out (who could’ve guessed?), but fear not: Racetrack RV across the street is offering special wristbands that allow you to enter and exit the festival grounds with your dignity still intact.
So pack your boots, layer up, smile like it’s your first mugshot, and prepare to scream your lungs out in the hottest, loudest, sweatiest four-day test of survival this side of a Mad Max sequel.
Rockville 2025: Because you didn’t need all that body water anyway.
