Intergalactic sludge lords GWAR are dragging their crusty space loincloths across North America for “The Return of Gor Gor Tour”, kicking off October 18 in Salt Lake City. Tagging along for the carnage? ’90s alt-metal lifers HELMET (fun fact: their song “Unsung” appeared in *SpongeBob SquarePants*—dubious honor?), chaotic punk grandpas THE DWARVES (who allegedly have an FBI file thicker than their drumsticks), and newcomers BLOOD VULTURE (fresh off opening for…checks notes…Cannibal Corpse’s lawnmower repair seminars?). This circus celebrates GWAR’s 40th year of traumatizing audiences and the comeback of their crackhead T-Rex Gor Gor, who’s probably still mad about that time GWAR abandoned him at a 7-Eleven parking lot in 1997. Oh, and there’s a new multimedia thingy dropping July 25 called “The Return Of Gor Gor”—part comic, part album, part excuse to sell translucent purple vinyl (because obviously).
GWAR‘s Blöthar The Berserker blesses us with this ominous wedding invite: “Gor Gor demands sacrifice! The Tyrant Teen is all grown up and he wants love! Don’t look him in the eye!! The beast demands a bride! Come in your bridal finery. An ocean of chiffon to satisfy the bloodlust of the great lizard!” (Pro tip: Wear white. It hides bloodstains *and* alien goo.)
Tickets go up Friday, June 27 at 10 a.m. local time. Presales are live now because capitalism doesn’t sleep.
Your regional apocalypse schedule, courtesy of GWAR’s “The Return of Gor Gor Tour”:
Oct. 18 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Complex
Oct. 20 – Tempe, AZ @ Marquee Theatre
Oct. 22 – Las Vegas, NV @ Brooklyn Bowl Las Vegas (Gor Gor’s favorite buffet spot)
Oct. 23 – Anaheim, CA @ House of Blues
Oct. 24 – Reno, NV @ Virginia Street Brewhouse
Oct. 25 – Berkeley, CA @ The UC Theatre
Oct. 26 – Bend, OR @ Midtown Ballroom
Oct. 27 – Seattle, WA @ Showbox Sodo
Oct. 29 – Vancouver, BC @ Vogue Theatre
Oct. 30 – Penticton, BC @ Penticton Trade & Convention Centre
Oct. 31 – Calgary, AB @ MacEwan Hall (perfect for Halloween – trick-or-puke)
Nov. 01 – Edmonton, AB @ Fan Park @ Ice District
Nov. 03 – Spokane, WA @ Knitting Factory
Nov. 05 – Denver, CO @ Summit
Nov. 06 – Lincoln, NE @ Bourbon Theatre
Nov. 08 – San Antonio, TX @ Vibes Event Center
Nov. 09 – Dallas, TX @ House of Blues
Nov. 11 – Nashville, TN @ Marathon Music Works
Nov. 12 – Greensboro, NC @ Piedmont Hall
Nov. 13 – Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade
Nov. 15 – Orlando, FL @ Warped Tour *
Nov. 16 – Tampa, FL @ The Ritz Ybor
Nov. 18 – Baltimore, MD @ Nevermore Hall
Nov. 19 – Worcester, MA @ Palladium
Nov. 20 – Philadelphia, PA @ The Fillmore
Nov. 21 – New York, NY @ Palladium Times Square
Nov. 22 – Norfolk, VA @ The NorVa
* Festival appearance (translation: GWAR will be performing next to a taco stand and/or TikTok influencers)
The “Return Of Gor Gor” release includes three new GWAR tracks mixed by Kurt Ballou (CONVERGE guy who probably invented the word “heavy”) and live cuts from Atlanta. The comic? Oh yeah, 32 pages explaining how Gor Gor survived GWAR’s backstage shenanigans (spoiler: lots of cocaine and hot sauce). Vinyl variants feature Gor Gor etchings that probably glow under blacklight. Because art.
Blöthar drops lore like a drunk Dungeon Master: “Last time I saw Gor Gor, he was a tiny lizard hitchhiking on my Kia Soul. Now he’s a 20-foot ‘trans-species prostitute’ haunting truck stops. This album’s his origin story. Bring tissues.”
“The Return Of Gor Gor” tracks:
01. The Great Circus Train Disaster
02. Tyrant King (not a Taylor Swift diss track)
03. Lot Lizard (Gor Gor’s Tinder bio)
04. Crack In The Egg (Live)
05. The Founding Fathers (Live)
06. America Must Be Destroyed (Live)
07. Fishfuck (Live) (still GWAR’s most elegant love song)
