Legendary Virginia screamo collective Pg. 99 have reportedly disbanded once again — this time after the band collectively realized that the Palestine they’ve been passionately shouting about is, in fact, a real place that might actually require them to show up.
According to sources close to the band (roughly eight of the ten people currently onstage at any given moment), the implosion occurred mid-rehearsal when someone casually mentioned, “Wait… this invite isn’t metaphorical?”
Eyewitnesses say the room fell silent. A snare drum was gently laid on the floor. Someone unplugged a distortion pedal as if powering down a dying star.
Pg. 99 — a band whose lineup has historically resembled a rotating city council meeting — immediately entered a four-hour emergency debate, which included three walkouts, two zine drafts, and at least one impromptu spoken-word performance about borders being social constructs.
“We support liberation everywhere,” stated one member, “but physically existing somewhere? That’s a very complicated conversation.”
Another member reportedly added:
“We’re a conceptual band. Our politics are supposed to be screamed into basements in the U.S., not confronted with, like, logistics and real life dangers.”
The group attempted to resolve the crisis by proposing several alternatives, including:
Playing the show in spirit
Sending a 200-page manifesto instead of themselves
Reuniting under a slightly different name (Pg. 99½)
Disbanding first, then reuniting after the controversy, as tradition dictates
Ultimately, the band chose the most Pg. 99 solution possible: breaking up again. Fans were quick to react online, with responses ranging from “this is the most Pg. 99 thing imaginable” to “I wasn’t sure they were still together anyway.”
At press time, Pg. 99 had already announced:
A farewell show
A farewell show to the farewell show
A reunion to process the breakup
And a possible reunion tour commemorating the anniversary of realizing geography exists
The band has not ruled out reuniting again next year, once enough time has passed for everyone to agree that this breakup was, in fact, extremely principled.
