As SEETHER and SKILLET’s fall tour rolls on, the confusion between the bands and the 2006 horror film Slither has reached biblical proportions. In Asheville, North Carolina, fans dressed as gooey alien slugs and tentacled monsters swarmed the venue, mistaking the show for a Slither fan convention. John Cooper, SKILLET’s […]
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Limp Bizkit Drops New Album “Still Sucks, But Not As Much As Lars Ulrich” Ahead of Metallica’s M72 Tour
In a bold (and hilariously petty) move, Limp Bizkit has announced their newest album Still Sucks, But Not As Much As Lars Ulrich, just in time for their supporting gig on Metallica’s 2025 M72 Tour. Why, you ask? Because apparently Fred Durst misses the days when Metallica’s music was fueled […]
SEPULTURA’s American Farewell Tour Kicks Off: Max Cavalera goes voodoo
Chicago, IL – Last night, SEPULTURA kicked off the North American leg of their “Celebrating Life Through Death” farewell tour at the Concord Music Hall, marking 40 years of thrashing and headbanging excellence. But while fans were moshing to the legendary Brazilian metallers, a far more mysterious ceremony was taking […]
ZAKK SABBATH Launches “King Of The Monstours” U.S. tour in 2024/2025 – Plus 10 More Hilarious Tribute Bands You Won’t Believe Exist
The almighty ZAKK SABBATH, led by none other than Zakk Wylde himself, has announced “King Of The Monstours” U.S. tour in December 2024/January 2025 , a 30-city trek across the country together with the release of “Greatest Riffs” BLACK SABBATH trubute. But folks, that’s just the beginning. After all, why […]
Warped Tour Organizers Confess: It’s a Money Grab, and They Couldn’t Be Happier
In a shocking (but not really) revelation, the masterminds behind Warped Tour’s rumored 2025 comeback have finally broken their silence about their true motivations. According to a “source,” who may or may not have been wearing a branded Warped Tour hoodie while sipping a $12 energy drink, the whole thing […]
Chaos at Jane’s Addiction Show: Perry Farrell Accidentally Takes Laxatives
In a night that will go down in rock history for all the wrong reasons, Perry Farrell, frontman of Jane’s Addiction, has come clean about the bizarre on-stage meltdown in Boston. Fans were left confused when Farrell suddenly assaulted guitarist Dave Navarro mid-performance, and now, the truth has come out: […]
SLAYER’s Festival Reunion Shows to Feature a Choir of Grandmas?!
In a turn of events so unexpected, even Satan himself would be confused, metal legends Slayer have announced they’re coming out of retirement for a few more shows in 2024. But hold on, folks, because this isn’t your typical “we missed the money” reunion tour. Oh no—this time, Slayer is […]
SLEEP TOKEN Demands “Non-Fart Zones” On American Tour; Gets Burritos Banned
Los Angeles, CA – In what can only be described as a cataclysmic collision of sound and… well, other things, the mysterious and brooding band SLEEP TOKEN has officially declared “Non-Fart Zones” on their upcoming (non-specified yet, though) U.S. tour. The announcement follows an infamous incident where a fan—blessed with […]
BREAKING: KISS are Breeding Fishing Worms with Band Members’ Faces
New York, NY – In a move that no one—and we mean NO ONE—saw coming, legendary rock band KISS has announced how they plan to ride off into the sunset after their final world tour: by creating a new breed of fishing worms with their faces. Because when you’ve conquered […]
BREAKING: Snoop Dogg Cancels All Ohio Shows Over Fear That “Immigrants Eat Dogs”—Won’t Risk It
Los Angeles, CA – In a turn of events that’s somehow both bizarre and on-brand, legendary rapper Snoop Dogg has announced that he is canceling all his upcoming Ohio concerts, citing a fear that “immigrants there might eat dogs.” Yes, you read that correctly. In an official statement released today, […]