Celebrating 54 Years of Neck Destruction, Horde Loyalty, and Crane Game Glory
Today, we raise our horns, stuff our neck braces, and gently place our plushies in salute to the one and only George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher — the reigning king of death metal whiplash and certified World of Warcraft warlord. He turns 54 today, and while we know a lot about the Cannibal Corpse frontman, we thought we’d celebrate with 10 facts that are either hilariously untrue, maybe a little true, or just wishful thinking. Either way — happy birthday, Corpsegrinder. You’ve earned the laughs.
1. His neck was declared a separate voting district in Maryland.
Due to its sheer mass and civic influence, George’s neck qualifies as its own jurisdiction. Politicians campaign exclusively at 45° angles to make eye contact. Wanna know more details about the Mighty Neck? We got you covered!
2. He once cleared an entire arcade crane machine in 9 minutes — with just his mind.
Though usually known for his brute force (vocally and cranially), there was one fateful night in 2014 when a sugar crash mid-tour unlocked his telekinetic powers. 37 plushies. 9 minutes. No survivors. The Pikachu still haunts local lore.
3. Blizzard once asked him to voice every orc in World of Warcraft… simultaneously.
They said it couldn’t be done. George said, “For the Horde,” and did 37 takes in one guttural breath. Sound engineers wept. The Horde gained +50 charisma.
4. He’s banned from several gyms for “abusing neck day.”
After shattering two resistance machines with a casual warm-up headbang, George was politely asked to never return — but not before leaving them a demo CD and a neck brace.
5. He once tried to explain Cannibal Corpse lyrics to a church group… using sock puppets.
It went surprisingly well until “Stripped, Raped and Strangled” needed choreography. Sock production was halted. The priest downloaded Tomb of the Mutilated “just to study the theology.”
6. A plush version of Corpsegrinder was spotted at Build-A-Bear. It sold out in 16 minutes.
Officially called “Growlsy the Grinder,” it came with pre-loaded death growls and an optional detachable neck girder. It was pulled due to causing spontaneous mosh pits at kids’ birthday parties.
7. He accidentally outed himself as Nathan Explosion before Metalocalypse existed.
During a backstage tour in 2003, George looked at a mirror, pointed, and said “Dude, that guy’s gonna be me in a cartoon someday.” Time rippled. Brendon Small fell off a chair 3,000 miles away.
8. He’s been trying to get Cannibal Corpse on the Hallmark Channel Christmas schedule for years.
According to unverified sources, his dream is a holiday special titled “Corpsegrinder Saves Christmas (and Slays the Naughty List).” Still negotiating the sleigh scene budget.
9. He considers every Cannibal Corpse show a PvP match against Alliance players in the crowd.
He doesn’t say it outright anymore, but when he locks eyes with that one fan in a suspiciously blue hoodie… you just know someone’s about to get growled at.
10. He wrote “Time to Kill is Now” while losing a PvP duel in WoW.
Yes, Alex Webster technically wrote the lyrics. But George screamed the line out loud after getting stun-locked by a gnome rogue named “XxILuvCatsxX,” and the rest is metal history.
🎉 Happy Birthday, George!
Thanks for 54 years of laughs, growls, plushie domination, and keeping the neck game strong. We joke because we love — and you’re truly one of metal’s most beloved beasts.
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to do 1,000 neck crunches in your honor. We’ll never catch up, but we can dream.
