In a heartfelt tribute to legendary bands that can’t seem to hold onto their drummers for more than three days at a time, Falling in Reverse has announced a bold new initiative: firing their drummer once a day for the foreseeable future.
The band’s frontman Ronnie Radke made the announcement via TikTok Live while eating protein powder directly from the tub.
“We’ve been watching The Who real close lately,” Radke said. “Zak Starkey getting fired, rehired, and re-fired? That’s the kind of legacy we need. You think Keith Moon would’ve stayed employed this long? Hell no. It’s punk rock.”
Radke then introduced Falling in Reverse’s current drummer, whose name he forgot mid-sentence, and fired him on the spot.
“We call this the ‘Starkey Method’,” Radke added. “It’s like CrossFit for emotions. Drummers get shredded spiritually.”
According to the band’s statement, a rotating lineup of drummers has been hired for the next 30 days, including:
Radke’s third cousin who played snare in high school
A guy named Kyle who was just “hanging around the studio”
A sentient drum machine powered by discarded vape batteries
Insiders claim the new daily-firing policy is a strategy to “build tension and distrust” in the band in hopes of inspiring better breakdowns. “Every day is now either a rehearsal or a goodbye party,” one exhausted roadie said. “Sometimes both.”
Meanwhile, Zak Starkey has not commented, but sources say he briefly applied to join Falling in Reverse under the name “Zackie BoomBoom” before being let go during the audition—“for being too consistent,” according to Radke.
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