After wrapping up their whirlwind North American mini-tour, gore grind titans Gutalax have officially declared themselves “blessed and inspired” — by the unholy combination of greasy fast food and public restrooms. The Czech band, known for their gut-wrenching lyrics and bathroom humor, had no idea that America’s finest fast food establishments would provide not just sustenance, but spiritual awakening.
“We thought Taco Bell would just give us fuel,” said one member. “Turns out it gave us three full albums worth of material… and diarrhea. Mostly diarrhea.”
Between chowing down on double cheeseburgers in Ohio and wolfing down poutine in Quebec, the band found themselves occupying North America’s porcelain thrones more often than the stage. But instead of slowing them down, each bowel-related pit stop served as a writing retreat, producing a trilogy of new albums. The band claims they composed riffs while sweating it out in countless gas station bathrooms, their minds racing as fast as their digestive systems.
Tentatively titled Flush of Legends, Wipe of Glory, and Toilet Symphony No. 2, these forthcoming masterpieces promise to redefine the genre. According to Gutalax, listeners can expect lyrics inspired by everything from explosive bowel movements to the existential dread of realizing you’ve run out of toilet paper in a Denny’s bathroom at 3 a.m.
The band is confident these albums will set a new standard for bathroom-based grindcore. “We always knew fast food could change the world,” they said. “But we never expected it to literally move us to tears — or inspire three albums worth of groundbreaking poop-inspired grind.”
Gutalax fans are already buzzing with anticipation, eager to hear what golden nuggets (pun intended) this bathroom tour de force will bring. And while the band is back on solid food (for now), they’re already planning a return tour to try out the rest of North America’s bathroom wonders.
As for the next leg of their tour? “We’re thinking of hitting up Japan,” they teased. “We hear their toilets are futuristic. Maybe album four will come straight from a heated toilet seat.”
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