Live Nation just had its biggest year ever, raking in a mind-melting $23.16 billion in revenue thanks to 151 million fans who willingly emptied their wallets for overpriced tickets, fees, and $12 water bottles. But rather than celebrate, the ticketing behemoth has announced plans to introduce a new lineup of absolutely essential, totally reasonable fees—because why stop now?
Among the innovative new charges coming in 2025:
- The “Because We Can” Fee – A small (but definitely not small) charge just to remind you that Live Nation owns your soul.
- The “Why Not?” Fee – Charged at random, just to see if anyone notices. Spoiler: they won’t.
- The “We Are Greedy Bastards” Fee – Transparent pricing at its finest.
- The “Breathing in the Venue” Surcharge – Fresh air is a privilege, not a right.
- The “You Thought You Were Done?” Fee – Just when you think you’ve paid everything, here comes another one.
- The “Standing Too Close to the Stage” Premium – If you want to see the band, that’ll cost extra.
- The “Leaving Early Exit Tax” – Want to escape before the encore? Pay up.
CEO Michael Rapino stated:
“2024 was live music’s biggest year yet, and in 2025, we’re doubling down—on profits. With more fans attending concerts than ever before, we realized people will pay for literally anything. So why not test the limits? We’re excited to introduce these new fees and keep pushing the boundaries of what people will tolerate.”
In related news, Ticketmaster is rumored to be considering an “Opening the Ticket Website Convenience Fee”—a charge for simply clicking on their site.
More updates as we watch Live Nation slowly evolve into a pay-to-exist service. Stay tuned!
