In a move that has shocked exactly no one, Maynard James Keenan has announced the return of the wildly successful “Sessanta” tour, bringing together PUSCIFER, PRIMUS, and A PERFECT CIRCLE once again for a six-week U.S. trek in 2025. But don’t get your hopes up, TOOL fans—there’s a reason for […]
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BREAKING: ICE NINE KILLS To Disband After “Terrifier 3” Horror Experience, Rebrand As Bible-Themed Country Band
In a turn of events more shocking than a Friday the 13th marathon, cinematic horror metal band Ice Nine Kills has decided to call it quits, citing the sheer terror of their own creation. At Silver Scream Con, surrounded by blood-spattered fans and Terrifier star David Howard Thornton, the band […]
Shavo Odadjian of SYSTEM OF A DOWN Admits SEVEN HOURS AFTER VIOLET is the Least Stupid Name for His New Band He Could Think Of
After weeks of what can only be described as a desperate search for “the least ridiculous name possible,” SYSTEM OF A DOWN bassist Shavo Odadjian has revealed that his new band, SEVEN HOURS AFTER VIOLET, will release their self-titled debut album on October 11. The band will grace the world […]
David Gilmour to Drop Rap Album After Epic Collab with BODY COUNT
In a shocking turn of events, PINK FLOYD’s guitar legend David Gilmour has announced that he’s not only diving deeper into the rap game but is also working on a cover album that promises to leave us “Comfortably Thug.” This comes after Gilmour’s unexpected collaboration with BODY COUNT, the metal […]
SEETHER And SKILLET Tour Turns into Horror Movie Spectacle as Fans Mistake Band for ‘Slither’
As SEETHER and SKILLET’s fall tour rolls on, the confusion between the bands and the 2006 horror film Slither has reached biblical proportions. In Asheville, North Carolina, fans dressed as gooey alien slugs and tentacled monsters swarmed the venue, mistaking the show for a Slither fan convention. John Cooper, SKILLET’s […]
Limp Bizkit Drops New Album “Still Sucks, But Not As Much As Lars Ulrich” Ahead of Metallica’s M72 Tour
In a bold (and hilariously petty) move, Limp Bizkit has announced their newest album Still Sucks, But Not As Much As Lars Ulrich, just in time for their supporting gig on Metallica’s 2025 M72 Tour. Why, you ask? Because apparently Fred Durst misses the days when Metallica’s music was fueled […]
SEPULTURA’s American Farewell Tour Kicks Off: Max Cavalera goes voodoo
Chicago, IL – Last night, SEPULTURA kicked off the North American leg of their “Celebrating Life Through Death” farewell tour at the Concord Music Hall, marking 40 years of thrashing and headbanging excellence. But while fans were moshing to the legendary Brazilian metallers, a far more mysterious ceremony was taking […]
ZAKK SABBATH Launches “King Of The Monstours” U.S. tour in 2024/2025 – Plus 10 More Hilarious Tribute Bands You Won’t Believe Exist
The almighty ZAKK SABBATH, led by none other than Zakk Wylde himself, has announced “King Of The Monstours” U.S. tour in December 2024/January 2025 , a 30-city trek across the country together with the release of “Greatest Riffs” BLACK SABBATH trubute. But folks, that’s just the beginning. After all, why […]
Warped Tour Organizers Confess: It’s a Money Grab, and They Couldn’t Be Happier
In a shocking (but not really) revelation, the masterminds behind Warped Tour’s rumored 2025 comeback have finally broken their silence about their true motivations. According to a “source,” who may or may not have been wearing a branded Warped Tour hoodie while sipping a $12 energy drink, the whole thing […]
Chaos at Jane’s Addiction Show: Perry Farrell Accidentally Takes Laxatives
In a night that will go down in rock history for all the wrong reasons, Perry Farrell, frontman of Jane’s Addiction, has come clean about the bizarre on-stage meltdown in Boston. Fans were left confused when Farrell suddenly assaulted guitarist Dave Navarro mid-performance, and now, the truth has come out: […]