It was only a matter of time. After years of bathing audiences in the fragrant mist of defibrinated pig’s blood and vintage goat essence, Swedish black metal purveyors WATAIN have finally entered the fragrance industry — and the results are as evil as they smell.
The band announced their new scent, “Tenebrae No. 666”, in collaboration with obscure French perfumery Maison de la Peste. Described as “a pungent spiritual extract crafted with animalic overtones, hints of charred church wood, and fermented offering fluids,” the perfume debuted at an underground launch party held in a candlelit slaughterhouse. Attendees were required to sign a waiver.
Three fans were reportedly hospitalized within 15 minutes of the first spray. One was found screaming, “It smells like Hell’s latrine!” while the others experienced “olfactory collapse” and were rushed to intensive care with what doctors are calling “existential nausea.”
WATAIN’s frontman Erik Danielsson, holding a bloodied atomizer during the press conference, defended the formula:
“We wanted to distill the sacred essence of WATAIN. If that means it melts your sinuses and curses your bloodline, then so be it.”
The perfume comes in a coffin-shaped bottle sealed with actual grave dirt and retails for $199.99 (soul not included, but heavily implied). Each purchase also includes a warning: “Do not apply near open wounds, churches, or members of your family.”
Despite the backlash — and legal threats from the Swedish Association of Nostrils — the band is already planning follow-up products, including:
“Eau de Goat” body spray
“Blasphemint” breath freshener
And a limited-edition scented candle called “Midnight Massacre”
As of now, “Tenebrae No. 666” is banned in 14 countries and under review by the Geneva Convention.
