Just when the metal world thought the ARCH ENEMY / Alissa White-Gluz split couldn’t get any weirder, Angela Gossow — former vocalist, current manager, and eternal shadow looming over every lineup change — has apparently deleted all her social media accounts and vanished to a remote island where WiFi fears to tread.
Sources close to the situation (a coconut and a seagull) say Gossow fled after receiving approximately one trillion messages from desperate fans demanding she “COME BACK AND FIX EVERYTHING.”
THE DIGITAL EXODUS
Within hours of the breakup announcement, Gossow’s inbox reportedly reached a level normally associated with natural disasters:
“ANGELA PLEASE COME BACK.”
“SAVE ARCH ENEMY.”
“BRING BALANCE TO THE METAL.”
“THE PROPHECY SAYS YOU RETURN WHEN THE BAND IS IMPERILED.”
“DO THE SCREECHING THING AGAIN.”
“ADOPT ME AS YOUR APPRENTICE.”
By lunchtime, she had turned off notifications.
By mid-afternoon, she had deleted everything.
By evening, she was on a plane holding a single duffel bag, sunglasses, and an unopened Wages of Sin vinyl someone threw at her.
ARCH ENEMY, MEANWHILE…
Back home, ARCH ENEMY’s statement still reads like a fortune cookie written by HR consultants:
“Wherever there is an ending, there is also a beginning.
See you in 2026.”
No updates.
No replacement vocalist.
No hint of a new direction.
Just an empty throne and an echoing, fan-driven chant of:
“ANGEEEEELAAAAA—”
THE FUTURE OF THE BAND?
Only three things are certain:
Alissa is already launching her grand solo chapter with suspiciously perfect timing.
The band is pretending everything is fine like the house isn’t on fire.
Angela Gossow is drinking something fruity under a palm tree, phone buried six feet under the sand.
If the band wants her back, they’ll have to swim.
