In a beautiful collision of heavy metal and horse sweat, METALLICA frontman James Hetfield met his new four-legged tribute act on Friday: Sandman—a majestic three-year-old Kentucky Derby contender named after the band’s one indisputably enduring song, “Enter Sandman.”
Yes, the gray colt, who probably headbangs in his sleep, was graced by Papa Het’s presence just before the 151st Kentucky Derby. The horse, bred in Kentucky (because of course), is trained by Mark Casse and is apparently supposed to “close races like Mariano Rivera.” We’ll see about that. METALLICA even donated t-shirts to the barn crew, because nothing screams high fashion at Churchill Downs like a sweaty roadie tee with a flaming skull on it.
Photos emerged on social media showing the barn crew rocking METALLICA merch while Sandman gave the camera a look that said, “I only gallop to Ride the Lightning.”
Not every horse with a METALLICA-themed name had such a promising fate. Lulu, named after the band’s most regrettable collaboration since their haircut choices in the late ‘90s, didn’t even make it to the Derby. Officials said it was due to “lack of interest,” though anonymous sources claim the other horses simply refused to be seen with it.
Meanwhile, Reload barely showed up. Limping in late and dramatically overhyped, Reload lived up to its name by needing to start over… repeatedly. The horse crossed the finish line in what can only be described as “last place, but with flair.”
Asked for comment, Hetfield simply grunted, “YEAH!” before signing a horse hoof and riding off into the sunset on a golf cart playing “Sad But True.”
But the real drama came from inside the METALLICA camp. Drummer Lars Ulrich reportedly threw a tantrum in the paddock after discovering no horse had been named St. Anger.
“It’s disrespectful,” Ulrich complained to confused reporters. “St. Anger had a huge snare presence. If anything, it was a horse—wild, raw, unhinged. And where’s my hoof tribute? No love for the tin-can snare era? Whatever, man.”
He then allegedly tried to trademark the term “Thoroughbred Justice.”
The 151st Kentucky Derby continues its tradition as America’s classiest way to wear silly hats while pretending to understand horse stats. But this year, thanks to METALLICA, it also offered a reminder: even in the refined world of horse racing, nothing truly says “legacy” like naming animals after metal songs and albums that should’ve stayed in the stable.
