In a shocking twist that literally nobody asked for, Sully Erna has announced that GODSMACK will be going on a year-long hiatus — not for rest, not for recording, but to finally answer the culinary call of destiny. Erna revealed in a recent interview that he’s “probably starting something new,” and now we know what it is: GodSlop, a YouTube cooking show where Erna prepares aggressive, overly seasoned meals to the tune of post-grunge riffs and light pyrotechnics.
“After the European tour, we needed to evolve,” said Erna while chopping jalapeños in fingerless gloves. “We’ve done the rock thing. Now it’s time to sauté. I’m done screaming into microphones — it’s time to scream into cast iron.”
The show promises “100% flavor, 0% record label interference”, and will feature dishes like:
Awake-n-Bacon Bombs
I Stand (Over the Grill) Alone Ribs
Voodoo Vegan Chili (now with real voodoo)
Faceless Fajita Fridays
Whatever Stroganoff
and fan-favorite: Crying Like a Bitch Carolina Reaper Wings
Meanwhile, bassist Sam Bam Koltun and drummer Will Hunt have reportedly been seen Googling “how to join Nickelback” while quietly wondering what they’ve signed up for.
Though the band isn’t promoting a new album, Erna is proudly promoting “the brand, the flavor, the legacy”. He insists the band is still “in control,” noting that “for the first time in our career, the marinade is ours. Not the labels’, not the managers’. Just ours.”
Asked if the show might lead to a Godsmack-themed chain of hot sauce stores or perhaps a line of prepackaged microwave meals (tentatively titled Slop’n’Rock), Erna simply nodded solemnly and said, “We’ve survived grunge, nu-metal, and the early 2000s. We can survive the Food Network.”
Stay tuned as GodSlop premieres this fall on YouTube with guest appearances from celebrity chefs, washed-up ‘90s rockers, and possibly Guy Fieri dressed as a demon.
