As BABYMETAL prepares for their biggest North American tour yet, a lingering existential crisis has finally caught up with them: they are no longer, by any metric, babies. With all members now well into their late 20s, the realization that they’ve been fronting a band called BABYMETAL while filing taxes, investing in skincare routines, and debating mortgage rates has become, in their own words, “a bit awkward.”
To solve this glaring contradiction, the members of BABYMETAL have made a bold commitment: before the tour kicks off in June 2025, they vow to become actual mothers and bring their babies on the road. “This way, we can continue to perform under the BABYMETAL name with integrity,” they explained in a recent press release. “And if all goes well, our next album will be full of lullaby breakdowns and a few guest appearances by crying infants.”
The tour, produced by Live Nation, will feature an impressive lineup of support acts, including BLACK VEIL BRIDES, JINJER, and BLOODYWOOD. However, it’s still unclear if BABYMETAL’s new additions will be joining them on stage or merely napping backstage in bassinet cases. Fans can expect some setlist changes to accommodate the band’s new lifestyle, including a slowed-down version of “Gimme Chocolate!!” now titled “Gimme a Minute, the Baby’s Crying!!”
While some have questioned the logistics of parenting on tour, BABYMETAL remains optimistic. “We’ve been performing in heavy costumes under intense choreography for years, so balancing a baby in one arm while shredding a riff with the other should be no problem,” they assured. “Plus, if we ever need help, we can always hand them off to the guys in BLACK VEIL BRIDES. They need to learn responsibility, too.”
Tickets go on sale this Friday, with a special presale on Thursday under the code “BMM25.” Attendees are encouraged to bring their own babies to the shows to create a truly immersive BABYMETAL experience. Diaper-changing stations will be available in the mosh pit.
