The art world just spent $12.1 million on Maurizio Cattelan’s gaudy, 223-pound golden toilet — and naturally, Europe’s foremost porta-potty prophets GUTALAX have responded the only way they know how:By launching their own line of pre-used, fully “tested,” lovingly soiled Toi-Toi deluxe units, complete with authentic band-member autographs (written in […]
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YUNGBLUD Finally Admits It: “Yeah, I Used Tinder To Promote My First Shows — And Sorry To Anyone Expecting a Romantic Night Out”
In a revelation that somehow feels both shocking and extremely on-brand, YUNGBLUD has officially confessed that his earliest gigs weren’t built on grassroots hustle or underground hype — they were built on Tinder matches. According to the singer (in this definitely real, totally reliable, not-at-all fabricated confession), filling a dingy […]
Norwegian Black Metal “Missing Persons” Hoax Revealed To Be… A Brokeback Mountain Remake?
Norway, where the fjords are deep, the forests are haunted, and apparently two black metal legends woke up one morning and decided, “Let’s fake our own disappearance for art. Also, let’s remake Brokeback Mountain while we’re at it.” Yes, folks — the now-infamous “Snorre W. Ruch and General Gribbsphiiser Lost […]
Live Nation Launches New Survey: Concerts or Free Burgers & Fries? Humanity Finally Draws the Line
Fresh off their groundbreaking revelation that 70% of people would rather go to a concert than have sex, Live Nation has bravely returned with a far more important study — one that truly tests the limits of human devotion. This time they asked 40,000 participants from 15 countries the only […]
KID ROCK Cancels NYC SHOWS, Rewrites Classic Hit To “New York’S Still Not My Home”
In a move that shocked precisely no one and entertained absolutely everyone, Kid Rock has allegedly canceled his upcoming New York City shows, declaring, “SORRY NYC, BUT I DON’T SING FOR COMMIES.” The phrase went viral across X and Facebook, sending fans and fact-checkers alike into full-blown chaos. Within hours, […]
Breaking: The Recording Academy Kicks Out SLEEP TOKEN, Adds North Carolina’s ATERRA To Grammy Nominations After “Actually Hearing Metal”
The 2026 Grammy nominations took a violent turn toward the abyss today when the Recording Academy suddenly removed Sleep Token from the Best Metal Performance category—replacing them with a band no one in the mainstream had ever heard of until about five minutes ago: Aterra, hailing from North Carolina. The […]
Feminist Party Leader Accuses VULVODYNIA Of “Disturbing Fascination” With Women’s Medical Conditions
South African slam-death/deathcore titans Vulvodynia have once again found themselves in the middle of controversy — this time not for their ex-girlfriends accusations, fights with a drummer, blast beats, gutturals, or circle pits, but for their band name. A self-described feminist party leader — known for her green hair, oversized […]
My Chemical Romance Confirm They’re Never Writing New Music Because They’re ‘Too Old for Romances’
After years of speculation, cryptic teasers, and eyeliner shortages across the globe, My Chemical Romance have officially announced their 2026 world tour — but with one important clarification: there will be absolutely no new music. Why? Because, as frontman Gerard Way allegedly said in a moment of raw honesty, “We’re […]
Death Metal Band Calls Out Billie Eilish: “Donate Your Millions So We Can Help Fans Recover From Your Music”
In a truly unexpected twist of world philanthropy, underground Florida death metal band Vomit Crypt has issued a public statement urging Billie Eilish to “reconsider her charitable priorities” after her speech at the WSJ. Magazine Innovator Awards. While accepting her award, Eilish called on billionaires to give their money to […]
CHILDREN OF BODOM Members Announce Tribute Concert to Alexi Laiho: “Yeah, We’ve Been Talking Shit for Years, But We’re Short on Money”
The surviving members of CHILDREN OF BODOM have announced a tribute concert to their late frontman Alexi Laiho, called “A Celebration of Music”, set to take place at Helsinki’s legendary Tavastia club on February 26, 2026. The event will reunite bassist Henkka Seppälä, drummer Jaska Raatikainen, keyboardist Janne Wirman, guitarist […]