After a series of shocking charges that make even the wildest metal lyrics seem tame, Sean “Diddy” Combs has found an unexpected solution to his legal troubles: full-blown Satanic sacrifice. With charges including racketeering, sex trafficking, and claims of involvement in Tupac’s murder, the hip-hop mogul has apparently thrown in the towel—or maybe the ritual dagger—offering himself as a willing victim at the next DEICIDE concert.
Diddy, who’s been denied bail more times than a mosh pit jumper, reportedly sent a message to Glen Benton, the infamous frontman of DEICIDE and lifelong Satan fanboy, suggesting the ultimate solution to his woes: ritual sacrifice on stage. “I’ve tried everything,” Diddy’s message allegedly read. “I’ve got a legal dream team, I’ve denied everything, and I’m still stuck in this mess. Satan’s my last hope. If anyone can get me out of this, it’s the dark lord.”
Benton, who has a reputation for not taking things lightly, was reportedly intrigued. “I mean, it’s not every day you get a sacrifice offer like this. And considering all the stuff about Tupac, I might just be into it. Let’s call it… justice, Satan-style.” He was quick to note that while he wasn’t looking for extra help with his stage theatrics, the irony of sacrificing Diddy—who may have been involved in Tupac’s death—wasn’t lost on him.
Fans of DEICIDE and hip-hop alike are already speculating on how such a collaboration might go down. Could this be the biggest crossover in music history? Some predict Benton might introduce a new twist to his usual on-stage rituals, perhaps incorporating Diddy’s infamous “Freak Offs” or adding IV fluids afterward—just to keep things classy.
In the meantime, Benton has promised to at least “think about it,” noting that the public’s demand for this spectacle is growing. “Look, we’ve sacrificed a lot of goats, but a millionaire rapper on stage? That’s a whole new level,” Benton said. “Plus, I owe Tupac one.”
