In a shocking twist absolutely nobody saw coming (except maybe that one guy still wearing his Darkness Descends shirt from ’86), thrash veterans DARK ANGEL have revealed the secret behind the uniquely underwhelming sound of their new comeback track, Extinction Level Event: studio weed fog.
“We didn’t mean for it to sound like that,” bassist Michael Gonzalez admitted during a live Q&A on Facebook. “It’s just… we smoked a lot. Like, a lot. Like, ‘did we even hit record?’ levels of baked. Ron’s voice? That wasn’t age, that was three blunts and a dab hit before every vocal take.”
While some fans pointed out that vocalist Ron Rinehart sounded less like a thrash legend and more like your uncle who shouts at the TV during football commercials, the band insists the vibe was intentional.
“He was going for ‘post-apocalyptic coyote with laryngitis,’” said Gonzalez. “It’s art.”
Drummer Gene Hoglan, legendary for his fast and intricate playing, was reportedly so zonked in the studio he accidentally recorded all of his drum tracks at 65% tempo. “We didn’t notice until the mixing stage,” said producer Rob Shallcross. “We thought he was going for some groovy doom-thrash hybrid, but turns out he was just in deep conversation with the ceiling tiles during most takes.”
The final solution? Cold, sober technology.
“We had to replace Gene’s drumming with a computer,” Gonzalez said, shrugging. “We love the guy, but the drum machine wasn’t high, and it didn’t ask us if chips and salsa was a valid dinner five days in a row.”
Fans remain divided. Some have embraced the fuzzy, sluggish thrash vibes, describing the track as “kinda like Darkness Descends, if it had just eaten an edible and was watching Planet Earth.” Others have been less kind, accusing the band of “releasing the sound of a weed nap.”
Still, the band is unapologetic.
“We made this record for us,” Gonzalez wrote in response to criticism. “We made it for where we’re at now — mostly on the couch, vibing. You want Time Does Not Heal Part 2? Sorry, time did heal, and it also got really into vaping.”
Meanwhile, Gene Hoglan is rumored to be in talks with a local dispensary to launch his own line of cannabis products: “Blast Beat Blunts” and “Double-Kick Dabs.”
The full album drops later this year, assuming the band remembers where they left the master files.
