In the wake of the U.S. government’s new “Make Metal American Again” tariffs, desperate European promoters have begun smuggling bands into the States under the guise of tribute acts — triggering what Customs officials are calling “Operation Corpsepaint.” This week, U.S. Border Patrol agents detained a van at the Vermont […]
make America metal again
Trump Administration Slaps Tariffs On Imported Metal Bands: “We Have Kid Rock At Home”
In a bold move to protect American metal, the Trump administration has announced a sweeping new policy: tariffs on all foreign heavy metal bands entering the U.S. Effective immediately, bands from Europe, Asia, and especially Canada will be taxed for each riff, blast beat, and corpsepainted member they bring across […]
Elon Musk Appointed to Lead the Newly Formed National Department of Death and Black Metal
In an unexpected twist, sources have confirmed that Elon Musk has finally secured a powerful role in President-elect Donald Trump’s administration as the first-ever head of the National Department of Death and Black Metal. The announcement came just hours after a raucous dinner at Mar-a-Lago, where Musk and Trump reportedly […]