Inspired by the recent Nobel Peace Prize Weirdness, last year’s Wacken Metal Battle USA winners MOURNING HIGH have reportedly decided to hand over their hard-earned trophy to President Donald J. Trump. Why? Because apparently this is a thing now. According to sources very familiar with distortion pedals and extremely unfamiliar […]
trump kidrocking
SLEEP TOKEN Now So Big That President Trump Threatens Import Tariff on Their U.S. Tour
After Even In Arcadia exploded onto the Billboard 200 at No. 1 and broke records as the most-streamed hard rock album in history, President Donald J. Trump has announced a bold new initiative: an import tariff on Sleep Token’s entire U.S. tour. “We have to protect American rock,” Trump stated […]
Trump Administration Slaps Tariffs On Imported Metal Bands: “We Have Kid Rock At Home”
In a bold move to protect American metal, the Trump administration has announced a sweeping new policy: tariffs on all foreign heavy metal bands entering the U.S. Effective immediately, bands from Europe, Asia, and especially Canada will be taxed for each riff, blast beat, and corpsepainted member they bring across […]