In a groundbreaking move to finally rid the metal scene of pesky male energy, Mayhem Festival is returning in 2025 as Miss Mayhem—a fully female-fronted lineup that’s doubling down on the rebrand by banning all men from attending. That’s right, dudes, pack it up. You had your time at Mayhem with your sweaty mosh pits, gratuitous beard stroking, and that one guy in every circle pit who takes his shirt off when no one asked.
Promoter Ash Avildsen made it clear: Miss Mayhem is not just a name; it’s a lifestyle. “We’re reclaiming the chaos,” he said in an interview with Rock Feed, “but this time, it smells like strawberry-scented hygiene products instead of 14-hour-old metal bro sweat.”
To ensure total commitment to the theme, every attendee will receive a complimentary Miss Mayhem survival pack, which includes a free box of Tampax, a bottle of red wine (because stereotypes are fun), and a coupon for a rage therapy session where you can scream at a wall about how men ruin everything. “It’s all about embracing female power,” Avildsen continued. “And, let’s be honest, most guys can’t even handle a one-day festival without whining about their feet hurting.”
Lineup rumors are already swirling, with confirmed bands including Kittie, Spiritbox, Arch Enemy, and more. However, sources say the final slot might go to a newly formed all-female Slayer tribute band tentatively called SHE-LL AWAITS.
Of course, not everyone is happy. Some male Mayhem fans have taken to social media to complain, with one anonymous commenter posting, “This is discrimination! What about us guys?” To which the festival’s official account simply replied, “Cope.”
Miss Mayhem 2025: Metal, mayhem, and absolutely no male tears.
